Sunday Selections #9 houses

Once again, I am joining in with Kim at Frog Ponds Rock in posting some pretty pics of my life….

This week, I bring you a series of houses along one local stretch of road ….. which happens to be directly across the road from the waterfront.

These houses and street are special to me because it is where my grandmother spent her childhood … along with 11 brothers and sisters.

The house they grew up in was remarkably tiny and as far as I know, the age-range of the kids was such that the older ones had left home before the younger ones were born.  Sadly, their house no longer stands, but then… no real surprises as it was situated in what is now a prime position (wouldn’t have been a hundred years ago) and was really quite ordinary as far as local houses go.

The people who now live there have at least replaced it with something in keeping with the original….

The House That Now Stands.... on 365 Project
 The house that now stands where my grandmother’s childhood home used to be.
The House Next Door.... on 365 Project

The house next door to where my grandmother’s childhood home used to be (restored).
The House Up The Road on 365 Project

The house down the road from my grandmother’s childhood home.

In between these beauties, there are some ugly dark brick 1980’s monstrosities, so I am at least glad that the house that now stands where Grandma’s used to be has some charm.

 

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You can’t fix me

Sometimes I want to scream at people: “You Can’t Fix Me”.

because sometimes, I get so sick of hearing that I need to “look after myself” or “do something for myself” or “make it happen” or “chin up” or “forge ahead”.

Sometimes it’s just too much when friends and colleagues minimise my grief in their misguided belief that they would know how to grieve properly if our positions were reversed.

(The same people that go to pieces if they have a sniffle and won’t make it to the gym that day.)

No, they’d grieve properly, have it together within a year and make rational decisions to take their lives onwards and upwards.

They’d “go to counselling” and “get the help they need” to get on with their lives.

Maybe a tasteful shrine with a few candles on the mantle to remember their love.
A weekly visit to the cemetery: fresh flowers on the grave.

They’d get themselves that new job that fits in with their altered lifestyle.

They wouldn’t suffer the grief fog, the loss of short-term memory, the sudden tears, the incapacitating sadness that saps all energy yet prevents you from sleep.

They quote some random bereaved person their aunty’s girlfriend’s hairdresser’s mother knows who has “coped admirably” with grief…. and cite it as “if they can do it, you can too”.  Never realising that the person they speak of most likely is showing them the brave face  and not the face screwed up in the agony which is widowhood.

NO, not for them this incorrect grief….

I am tired of explaining that life doesn’t work that way.

That “The Secret” isn’t based on scientific fact.  You can’t just wish you woes away anymore than you can make your beloved rise from the dead.

…and I hate that they overlook the incredible feat of strength and endurance I go through on a daily basis Just To Get Through The Day.

I wish they could see the progress I’ve made.

I wish they could know how hard this is without me having to spell it out.

Yes I am helping myself.

Yes I am doing everything in my power to move forward.

…and I am doing a bloody good job of it.

But I wish they’d stop thinking that they know how to fix me.

Grief is a long-term thing…

K has had a rough day.

For her, most days are rough: she misses her Dad.

She won’t get over this quickly.

This sadness is long term.

Even though we are working through our grief … together.
Even though we might function OK.
Even though some people think we should be “over it” by now, or able to move on or able to function as we were in the Before.

This sadness is here for the long-haul.

And you know what?

It probably should be that way.

Grief shouldn’t go away overnight.

Grief shouldn’t go away within a year.

It needs to be felt, everyday, until we can run our fingers over the scars without screaming , and see how strong we are.

Sunday Selections #8 moon

Once again, I am joining in with Kim at Frog Ponds Rock in posting some pretty pics of my life….

This week, as always, most of the photos were of the kids, but there was some pretty spectacular things happening in the night sky … just a shame I only got hazy photos.

Waxing Gibbous 92% full June 13 on 365 Project
Waxing Gibbous, 92%

lunar eclipse on 365 Project
Lunar Eclipse, hazy….

 

Trust me when I say, these photos do NOT do any justice to la luna

Sunday Selections #7

Once again, I am joining in with Kim at Frog Ponds Rock in posting some pretty pics of my life….

A general mish-mash this week. I seem to have misplaced my photography (and blogging) mojo although I did take some more cracking photos of the kids.

I posted them on facebook and I found it quite funny that two people have told me that they are planning on buying a Canon EOS DSLR because they love the kid’s portraits so much. While I admit, the Canon makes it hard to take a bad photo, the one that drew the most comments was taken with my little “handbag” camera – an Olympus µ-5010 … which is quite a basic point and click, but small and light and easy to carry around in my handbag or pocket 🙂

Anyhoooo…

Here is the general mish-mash…
Flotsam on 365 Project
Flotsam

how does your garden grow? on 365 Project
Garden collage

sunset world on 365 Project
Sunset World (aka pfaffing around in photoshop when I should be doing other things)

Deck Progress 8 June on 365 Project
Deck progress

I also wished I’d been able to get a half decent snap of the cutest little fluff balls running around with their parents at soccer this morning…. no, not kids but a pair of masked lapwing plovers and their adorable chicks.  Mum and Dad plover were a little too protective for me to get anywhere near for a quick pic of the happy family.

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Sunday Selections #6 wildlife edition

Once again, I am joining in with Kim at Frog Ponds Rock in posting some pretty pics of my life….

and once again, the bulk of photos I uploaded to my 365 project this week were  portraits of my children and I don’t post the pics of them on my blog.

So… since my kids can sometimes be described as being “wild” …I give you the local wildlife edition.

Bluey on 365 Project
blue tongue lizard

gecko on 365 Project
gecko

matchstick grasshopper on 365 Project
matchstick grasshopper

Floyd on 365 Project
Floyd

praying mantis on 365 Project
Mantis

Soldier Crab on 365 Project
Soldier Crab

ladybug on 365 Project
Lady Bug