One year in hell

Angel of Grief

Image by tkksummers via Flickr

I cannot believe that it has been a year since you died.

I like to think that I feel like I might have imagined feeling like on Day 1, Before I knew what true grief is.

….The way people trivialise grief and know how they’d feel if such a thing happened to them.

So it’s taken me a year to get here and I have to say that my mental health is OK at the moment.

I am not majorly depressed.

I wish I could grab people and give them a taste of today end tell them that this crushing sadness, this devastation, this fear, this loneliness  is actually *lighter* than I’ve felt in months.

Let them understand that there is no way of knowing how you’d handle such grief until you have to live it.

Every day.

Forever more.

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10 thoughts on “One year in hell

  1. Take care. Thinking of you.

  2. Missy Boo says:

    Big hugs to you and the kids on this day xxx

  3. twangy says:

    Look after yourself.
    Hugs. xx

  4. Lynda M O says:

    Thinking of you and the kids today as you mark this tragic anniversary.

  5. A year. Jesus.
    Thinking of you, honey, with lots of sympathy.

  6. Love you sweetie. So very much.

    I wish I could do more or say more.

    A year. My GOD really?

  7. corymbia says:

    Right back atcha.
    Wish I was meeting up with you at the conference.

  8. Grief sucks. and people that haven’t experienced grief are the ones that imply that you should be over it by now. One of the nicest comments on my daughter’s blog was from someone who told V to be kind to herself and to remember that in Victorian times people wore black so that others knew not to expect too much from them and then after a number of years they started wearing less severe colours to show that they were sort of getting back into the swing of things. I am not explaining myself very clearly. Sorry. It is my mum’s birthday tomorrow. I have been having a bad week.

  9. After your comment on my blog I followed you home and did some reading. Through tears. Words are inadequate but all I can say is that my heart hurts with and for you. And I find that grief sneaks up and bites you when you least expect it, as well as the times you thought you were prepared for (ha!). And it isn’t a case of getting over it, but finding a way of living with it.

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