So what would help you understand where I’m at if you didn’t read my blog?

Sad Santa Hat
Image by formatc1 via Flickr

The work Christmas party was on last night.

I decided to drive myself and not drink because a) it’s easier and b) drink doesn’t mix with sleeping tablets so it makes life easier to just not drink.

So I was not feeling particularly cheerful or merry but I chose to suck it up and go anyway.

I didn’t want to dance.  I dance when I’m happy.  I am not happy.

I repeat time and again “no – I won’t have anything to drink – too many people have been killed on the road”.

But I chatted and had fun and circulated … but just sober and with no dancing (seriously – I’m better at the one-liners and mocking other dancers anyway).

Apparently I’m “too serious” and need some “Christmas Spirit”.

So I have a question for you – do I cut and paste this (text, not link) into facebook and let them have at it?

Would I reveal too much of what I really think to people I have to work with?

I don’t know.

I honestly thought they might figure out that I am staring down the barrel of my first Christmas without Greg and am tad emotional.

I want them to know, but I don’t want to have to tell them that I am paddling just as hard as I can but the river of shit isn’t getting any shorter….

What would you do?

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