I am a terrible mother

My kids are funny.

I laugh at them a lot.

Usually, they enjoy getting a laugh and tell Very Bad Jokes to try and get more laughs, never realising that I’m not laughing at the joke, but I’m laughing at them.    Its like watching Alice and the Vicar share a joke at the end of each Vicar of Dibley episode.

Today, I was teasing my daughter (normal) but she just WASN’T in a jokey mood.

So here’s what happened:

Miss K decided that I wasn’t allowed to hug her because I’m currently wearing a tank top and she was worried that my hairy armpits might touch her.  (Now there’s a note I have to add here – my armpits are NOT hairy as I was teased enough during year 9 to know that a lady always shaves).

Anyhoo, I did the unthinkable and mentioned the fact that she’d also have hairy armpits one day …. and maybe, if she was really lucky, she could have a beard like her father (and I said that with a straight face because I derive perverse pleasure from messing with young minds).

Now some of you have seen pictures of my husband.
He has a large beard and he likes to compare his looks with Ned Kelley.  I have to admit there are some similarities.


But Miss K is no dumb bunny, she laughed and said that girls don’t get beards.

Then I pointed out that her grandmother has a lady mo.

Her face went white and her jaw dropped.

She got hysterical.

Normally she’d think that being like her Dad was super cool, but apparently that doesn’t run to growing facial hair.

She started crying and shouting that she didn’t want to look like a boy and she didn’t want to have to shave because then she’d have “spikes” on her face when the hair grew back.

I started laughing at her which made her even more hysterical.

So now I feel very small for messing with the mind of a six year old…. *my* darling, beautiful, intelligent six year old … but I’m also wondering how bad I would be if I showed her this:


…and I’m laughing again because I am a terrible mother.


9 thoughts on “I am a terrible mother

  1. leechbabe says:


    A relief to know I’m not the only evil mother in the world.

  2. corymbia says:

    Heh – us evil Mums had better stick together!

  3. Greta says:

    You and me both, A – LOL!

    I did a dreadful thing a few days ago. My son loves getting tickled. So I told him (in my mind, he knew I was joking) that if he held his arm up while I tickled him and counted up to ten, I’d buy him a Wall-E DVD.

    We saw Wall-E at the movies and months later, he’s still talking about it…

    Anyway he held up his arms and I got to… uhh… maybe two (?) before his arm went down – so I said he could have three chances – he couldn’t do it, of course… so he started crying… it was obviously more than just a joke to him!

    I felt like the meanest mum in the world for setting a challenge he couldn’t do, and for dangling the ultimate carrot before his nose, knowing that he’d never get it. I underestimated how seriously he took it…

    So I tickled him one more time and counted to ten in about two seconds. He made it. The look of triumph on his face was priceless, but I felt like I’d shot myself in the foot and been ‘bad-mama.’

    At the same time, it gave me a chuckle later when I told some other mums about it, laughing at yourself and your kids behind their backs is half the fun of being a perent LOL..

  4. corymbia says:

    LOL Greta.
    Kids are so funny when they take something so seriously … I know we really should respect that they are in earnest but its hard not to laugh.
    I keep thinking I’d like to buy the WALL-E dvd for my kids – they haven’t seen it but want to …. and *I* want to too.

  5. Jayne says:

    Print the bearded lady pic and stick it in your photo album for future classic kid-tormenting gold 😉

  6. corymbia says:

    Ah Jayne – I like your style. I could print it and tell her its “Great Aunty Josephine”…
    I’ll add it to the pile of embarrassing photos I plan on showing at her 21st party….

  7. Greta says:

    Wall-E is such a brilliant film – really accessible for kids, but with food for thought for adults too. I liked it because it really gave a great starting point to talk with Rock about the effects of over-consumption.

    Although it’s very ironic that every time he sees a Wall-E toy/magazine/pencil case, he begs me to buy it…

    I reckon you and the kids would love it, Amanda – I usually detest kids films, especially pixar ones. But this was really special.

  8. corymbia says:

    G – I’m a sucker for Pixar films – they are the only kids films I do like. and WALL-E is super cute and I like his style. But its funny about all the related WALL-E stuff you can buy since the film is about over consumption. Ironical (it is so a word!)

    And Kelley – I hadn’t though of all the hormonal stuff we’ve yet to go through (please God not for loooooong time). It will be hissy-fit city here. …and given that I am the mistress of the hormonal hissy-fit, we are in for some fun times.
    I’ll be needing tips from you I think, ’cause your kids sound like they are awesome (they got it from the maternal side I think).

  9. He he he, Great Aunty Josephine…

    Do it.

    You are awesome. It gets even funner when they are hormonal.

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