My kids are funny.
I laugh at them a lot.
Usually, they enjoy getting a laugh and tell Very Bad Jokes to try and get more laughs, never realising that I’m not laughing at the joke, but I’m laughing at them. Its like watching Alice and the Vicar share a joke at the end of each Vicar of Dibley episode.
Today, I was teasing my daughter (normal) but she just WASN’T in a jokey mood.
So here’s what happened:
Miss K decided that I wasn’t allowed to hug her because I’m currently wearing a tank top and she was worried that my hairy armpits might touch her. (Now there’s a note I have to add here – my armpits are NOT hairy as I was teased enough during year 9 to know that a lady always shaves).
Anyhoo, I did the unthinkable and mentioned the fact that she’d also have hairy armpits one day …. and maybe, if she was really lucky, she could have a beard like her father (and I said that with a straight face because I derive perverse pleasure from messing with young minds).
Now some of you have seen pictures of my husband.
He has a large beard and he likes to compare his looks with Ned Kelley. I have to admit there are some similarities.
But Miss K is no dumb bunny, she laughed and said that girls don’t get beards.
Then I pointed out that her grandmother has a lady mo.
Her face went white and her jaw dropped.
She got hysterical.
Normally she’d think that being like her Dad was super cool, but apparently that doesn’t run to growing facial hair.
She started crying and shouting that she didn’t want to look like a boy and she didn’t want to have to shave because then she’d have “spikes” on her face when the hair grew back.
I started laughing at her which made her even more hysterical.
So now I feel very small for messing with the mind of a six year old…. *my* darling, beautiful, intelligent six year old … but I’m also wondering how bad I would be if I showed her this:
…and I’m laughing again because I am a terrible mother.