Dear Heather and John,
What a thrill to receive your virtual Christmas card today – to save on waste you say. How thoughtful. I must remember to send you a virtual card for your birthday next year.
…and Gosh, what an amazing year you’ve had and how lovely of you to send us such a detailed description – 30 pages with photos! You can imagine our excitement. Hubby loved the photos of your new Rolls Royce so much that he commented what an amazing bunch of complete knobheads over-achievers you all are to have such a pretentious lovely car.
Personally I couldn’t go past the the pictures of Mr Waggy. I just love dressing up animals for Christmas … and no, I don’t find it at all cruel to dress animals for Christmas. I’m sure Mr Waggy looks delighted to be in his little snow suit!
We particularly enjoyed hearing about John’s appointment to the Supreme Court, and Heather’s reception at Buckingham Palace – Simply Smashing!
Oh and your talented off-spring – congratulations to Jemima for her outstanding win in the dressage section at the World Equestrian Games. Thanks so much for the 10 photos you sent us of Jemima on her horse ‘Hunter’ – I can see why he gets the big bucks for all his stud work and why Jemima is still unable to form a meaningful relationship with another human at 38. I do like Hunter’s Christmas portrait….
…and since you ask:
….yes – hubby is still doing the same job he was when you last visited us two years ago and hasn’t had a promotion,
… yes – I am still working part-time,
…yes – we still have two children,
…and no – we’re still not sure what kind of animal it was the washed up on our local beach and stunk our our suburb during the week of your last visit here. The authorities think it might be some sort of giant sea cucumber. … they are even considering naming it after you since you were the one to insist that I report the smell to the authorities which in turn lead to the carcass being found.
Anyhoo – I must dash to the local bottle-o as the cask of Chardonnay is almost empty and we are expecting the inlaws for dinner … and well… you know how they do like a tipple.
Thanks again for your wonderful letter. Can hardly wait to hear what adventures you get up to in the New Year, but hubby has pointed out that you’ll be sure to tell us all about it.
Love and air kisses from all of us.
This post brought to you by
(and big nods to Pat McDermott who’s idea I shamelessly stole after really receiving a virtual Christmas card from a friend which included virtual reams of wanky detail … but I’ve modified those details ever so slightly to protect the innocent. …and damn my goody-two-shoes ethics which prevented me from posting some of the pictures attached to the original e-mail).